It happened to me that as soon as I have learned something very interesting as surprising discoveries, I immediately felt the obsessive impulse to share it with someone. And so I did! Blasting away my points of view just because I took possession of an innovatory already existing information, and I’d be honest, this thing made me feel gratified, feeling like a guru, like a “woke” one. But then I asked myself: “Am I really doing this because I want others to be informed and have a better view or just because I am chasing that “guru” self-gratifying feeling?
Both answers were the case but the latter occurred too many times, proving that my means of information weren’t efficient and rather I was casting to the counterpart my guru self-gratification, not the essence of the message. As the result of the formula, the counterpart felt annoyed about it, not because the message wasn’t instructional, but because my real subconscious message was: “Hey, look how wise I am! I know way much stuff than you do! Consider me your guru!”. This is a sign of arrogancy that we should take into account and also we should always interpret the listener’s reaction. It comes to my mind a similar situation. It happens so many times that we feel upset about someone’s behavior, and most of the time is because of expectation (we expected others to behave as we like, but they didn’t). First, never expect somebody to behave as you like because is arrogant. You can appreciate it but, that’s not a prerequisite.
Second, If we can’t tame our emotions, they will end up controlling our bodies. Our failed expectation calls anger to take action and subsequently, anger borrows a body part to hit. The mouth or tongue in this case, but unfortunately sometimes also hands and feet. We have our reasons but, anger has to complete its mission and so we express with fury using words that hit… mission accomplished!
The result is that the listener only receives our anger disregarding the message. The speech wasn’t instructional but rather destructive (and you better expect the reaction!). What if I am exhibiting my pompous fake knowledge to you? Would you feel enriched or annoyed by a shallow “guru” looking for his/her invisible daily dose of self magnification?
Anger was called to hit as well as insecurity was called to preach!
Probably, the right method is determined by means and aim.
It must also be said that the problem might occur conversely by the listener’s side. There are people that adamantly built frivolous “certainties” into their minds making it hard to interact with them. They might feel threatened by your knowledge and therefore find a way to hit differently, sometimes also ridiculing your points and offending your personality. But let’s step back. Why do we have to show that we know?
Based on personal opinion, as I hinted above, is because of insecurity. We have so many gaps ranging from physical to mental, and filling one of these would make us feel a little bit bigger. What a feeling! And what do I need to reach the status of a guru!?!?…”Knowledge”!!! But like everything in life (probably also the afterlife), there are proper and improper ways to obtain something. Here the guideline suggests a new question: am I really doing/learning this for personal pleasure or the pleasure of others because I want to be accepted in some field?
Summer is coming and a sleek shape fitted with muscles would definitively boost up my confidence level. I don’t really care to increase muscle strength or improve my athletic skills, I only care about that acceptable shape, the basic package. I buy the gym membership, practice twice a week, regular workouts and that’s it! I just built what is apparently necessary to hook up with some girls at the beach (this is not a moral criticism, it’s absolutely legit and understandable! lol).
It would be different if my aim was to be eligible for the NBA draft. In this case, I wouldn’t practice for appearance but rather for competence, for myself! And if I want to get access to the league, I better start love the fatigue!
In parallel, if I’d want to become a guru merely for respect and acceptance, my learning would be more likely summary and superficial! I would master notions just as an answering function, learning what it takes to join the subject matter, not being a resource for the world. So again, am I learning “this” because I want somebody else to respect my opinion or because I am really passionate? Deep in our consciousness, we know what is driving our efforts.
When we learn for others, we don’t delve into the matter, but just memorize the aesthetics, namely what it takes to feel appeased and enforce respect. But when we learn for ourselves, we grow, we become a resource and we harness the technique for salvation.. from fear, which is the main insecurity’s nourishment.
Maybe fear is the outcome of what is unknown. We are scared of how it feels to be heartbroken, unsatisfactory, poor, etc. We are scared of animals, people, and situations because we have never dealt with them. And then you get to experience something and that thing is not scaring you that much anymore, because you knew how it felt. “I’m scared of water because I don’t know how to swim or I’m scared of performing because I’m not sure I’d be satisfying! but if I’d learn how to swim or to handle specific situations…game over!”
To conclude I would like to process this thought:
The unknown is something that you didn’t have the chance to know and Ignorance sounds more like something that you didn’t have the willingness to know. Typically, Ignorance copulates with Conviction, giving birth to hypocrisy, prejudice, and violence. All of these are active feelings that we act cruelly towards others, but Fear (generated by what is Unknown) is passive, is something that we have to undergo.
The one who is brave digs in to find the tools (as the biblical blessing) to not being afraid (knowledge), whereas the one who doesn’t dig, ignores, and therefore is tormented by what he/she doesn’t know. Probably that’s why the one who ignores is always looking for distractions and never looks to his/her true self.