Hello everyone, I’m Lyone, an Afro-Mediterranean guy living in Italy and I want to share with somebody this innate discomfort.
We have been cast in this world with no choice (probably) for location, status, and parents. Frequently, we grow up with values insolently thinking to walk in the most righteous path. Just to report a religious example, if you were born in Italy, having both Italian parents, you would embrace Christianity as if it was a fairer religion than Islam. The same thing applies to somebody that was born in Turkey supporting the same presumption towards Christianity. But how can we be so confident in our affiliations if we only interpret data contained in our box, while disregarding the uncontainable flow of information coming from the outside?
Out of our mother’s womb, we are like a book with empty pages and unfortunately, many times, our parents presumptuously fill the first chapters pretending to be the Truth-keepers. Good luck, if Buddha or Jesus were them, but the reality is that, usually, our parents are simply human beings with good values but also disruptive points of view.
Parents made a lot of mistakes in their lives and some of them are still living a censored failure, and if they don’t have enough emotional intelligence to realize it, they would probably end up to consider their kids as a life extension to accomplish what they always desired for themselves projecting preferences and beliefs.
In my opinion, children are in parent’s protection but not possession, the fact that they decided to have intercourse and introduce us in this twisted world doesn’t give them the authority to decide what we are going to do in life or which political party we should support.
As I’m writing, I’m going through a long series of disputes with my mother because of my latest choices. To sum up, let’s say that my mother lived a hard life, not getting to what she really wanted to accomplish. Latently, she has a beautiful and good-willing soul, but throughout her lifetime her censored failure made her fragile and incapable to make moves taking risks. She always oppressed her will because of fear; fear of being alone, fear of losing a job, fear of not being accepted, etc. (This is a very superficial summary, I don’t like to define other people’s feelings, is just that I’m trying to assemble the framework from my point of view).
To reconnect, this lack of courage made her project her schemes on me. When I was born, I think that in her mind she already idealized how things were supposed to go: I should have studied, got a degree at x age, made my career in that y way, married her designed prototype wife, etc.
I reasoningly understand that she erected these matters thinking that they could forge my winning formula, but she mistakenly disregarded my latent vocation and what was making me really happy. In my adolescence, I always tried to abide by those schemes to make her happy but at the same time, I was oppressing myself. In some cases, my happiness and satisfaction were directly proportional to her discontent. Honestly, nothing is wrong about it, it’s acceptable: one man’s food is another man poison, the problem here is that every time I tried to diverge from her will to pursue my desires, she appeared indignant and offended making me feel guilty. I started to appease her unaware of the drastic consequences. I was nurturing my insecurities and inferiority complex.
It’s a ripple effect. I was disabling myself to make decisions with confidence, commencing my censored failure and if I kept relying on her decisions, I’d probably end up having the same behavior towards my eventual future progeny.
That’s why I decided to break the chain..and when I did, the whole system collapsed. Every single thing was colliding, relation, trust, personality. She didn’t recognize me, used to me being the tamed lamb, and all of a sudden I became the rebellious angel. It sucks, starting an emotional turmoil with your loved ones, it’s like moving against society.
Maybe is a thoughtless comparison (in fact nonsense), but every genuine innovator fought hard to advance their ideas and the majority of people wallowing in the pond of mainstream and institutions don’t realize that large proportion of beliefs or truths that we have today were considered fake and hazardous before. What arrogance to believe that present-day knowledge is the most authentic truth, not expecting someone to mess up our dogmas. Probably people living in 3000 AD will argue that our society was obtuse and backward-looking. Similarly, as a parent, what arrogance to believe that you own more accurate codes to unlock success, not considering that probably your knowledge comes from that claustrophobic background box and your codes were good back in the days but don’t apply anymore.
It sounds like a light birth dictatorship, you didn’t vote for members and rules, but invisibly you found yourself serving the regime and you need to fight it.
So, not to rump up in a wider issue, I genuinely think that if we find our inner verities we should be conscious of what it takes to support them (the revolution). If you don’t live in an open-minded environment, collision and dramas are mandatory and my suggestion is to take a deep breath, make your peace with it and jump off. Don’t waste time to debate your reasons, just meekly move forward. Exam your thesis, find the proof, and then show it.
At the moment, I’m undertaking my “secession war”. In the beginning, I was wasting time and energy trying to support and argue my thesis but then I understood that “people wallowing in the pond of the mainstream” or “ that don’t have enough emotional intelligence” are not able to question deeper matters and themselves, therefore, their sole means of comprehension is “facts”. So, that’s it. I’m studying and working to prove my theory, and probably will occur to be a big nonsense thing, but guess what?! I’m living (not ordinary) and that’s the only thing that matters to me.